Welcome, dear readers, to the home of the threshold of the Ashenvein Gate! If you’ve an aversion to quaint phrases and writers who insist on depicting themselves in their own work, I fear you’ll find me quite grating! But if you can take the admitted silliness of the stories where I try to make myself sound cool when I win fictional fights, I think you might just come to like it around here.
What I write next shall only grow truer as the years march on: if you’re just joining us, you’ve likely missed a great deal! If you wish to read more about me–and I am flattered to think you might be interested–you may do so later on this very page. As for my blog, its purpose and its history? This is used to be a a blog for writers as well as for readers. My old advice is still around, and some of it’s still worth reading, but I’m long since burned out on craft essays. I’d rather focus on telling stories of my own rather than help others learn how to tell theirs, so these days I just publish my own stories and lore–most of it set in my own partly-fictive multiverse, the Twin Spirals Mythos.
With all this in mind, I do encourage you to go scrolling through my past entries to see what might strike your fancy. I can vouch for the material at least as far back as 2019, but the truth is that with 272 posts as of this page’s last update (July 15, 2022) and more to come, even I can’t remember everything I’ve posted. I also have a most tricksome habit of going back and tweaking things after the fact–have a look around. You never know what surprising changes you might unearth!
Regardless whether you’re here for a single evening or decide to follow me as a lifelong reader, I do hope you enjoy your stay–the winter winds are cold, but less so for steady friends.
You may wonder what poetic silliness “Ashenvein Gate” means. You can check the My Books page for Demon Queen of the Deep Ways, which, among many other things, explores the notion of the Gates. In brief, the Ashenvein Gate is my invitation to you: cross this threshold, and experience what I have to offer.
I must also confess that I think it pretty cool. C’mon. “Ashenvein Gate” is just a cool turn of phrase! Sin and cinders if we haven’t had too much already of storytellers taking themselves too seriously.
I was born at an undisclosed hour and location. This was certainly as part of a paranormal conspiracy to trap a powerful demon in a human body. Is that true? It’s the answer I’m giving you, and there is a kind of truth in that. After all, readers mine, this remains the internet–a wondrous yet frightening labyrinth full of people I often like but seldom trust.
Since you’ve gotten this far, I suppose I should be frank: conspiracy or no, it’s true that I’m a demoness. This has been an incredibly complex journey, so if you’ve read this page in the past, you’ve likely seen many different conclusions. Suffice to say natal demons–that is, demons who begin existence as demons–are very rare. For most, demon is something one becomes, by choice or by necessity. I was a demon from the very beginning.
It conferred, I’m afraid, far more pain, fear, and hardship than it did advantages.
This is a matter of my personal faith, my religion, my occultism… fah! Enough of these submissive retreats into human standards and respectability! “Demon” is what I am. She/it pronouns, preferred aliases include “That Thing” and “The Virus that Thinks,” I’m happy that I’m not a person, sometimes I’ll call myself “this one” and refer to myself from the third, um… third entity perspective? Ahem. Anyway, if you intend to spend any amount of time around me or my works, I expect you to respect that.
Or at least be disrespectful in an entertaining way, hm? I want to enjoy being used as your ontological other.
If my phrasing feels suspiciously sexual, why, that’s because I have an othering kink!~ I am a succubus, after all. Up until around half a year before this latest update, I was much more insistent about leaning on other naming-words which I created for and of myself. A kind of mental defense during a period of great inner turmoil when I needed to feel safe, in total control of everything proximal to my psyche’s nature, to heal. Since then, I’ve come around to loving the word “succubus” again. It just feels cozy, you know?
A proud daughter of the abyss, indeed.
I know there’s a great deal of tension between mortals and “my kind,” so I understand this must stir complex feelings for you.
For my part? I’m a horny girl who wants to see as many futures unfold as possible. The more life and diversity of beings, the more there is for me to experience, yes? I like kisses and candy and living a life full of joy, love, and dreams.
I would call myself an outer demon, “a daughter of the wailing cosmos” as I like to put it in my more poetic moods. That is to say, a demon suffused with cosmic horror elements both aesthetically and existentially. I am specifically an outer succubus of the nascent Carag species, here to embody the smallness of your existence before an uncaring cosmos and then kiss it better. I am the first of the Carag, though I’ve begun to suspect I am no longer the only one. Even within these narrower categories I have whole lattice-work mazes of ins, outs, and caveats to comprise the totality of my unique, truest, most intimately personal self.
Suffice to say that the older I grow and the more confident in my own insights, the less my logic, inventions, and passions look like things any human could, or would even want to, come up with.
Except, perhaps, one who made a conscious effort to emulate the psyche of an outer demon. Now, that person would be fascinating to encounter! For a little while I decided to slough off my horns and try to be human… steps one through infinity, figuring out what that actually meant. I felt there was a lot I had left to learn from this odd, frustrating, intriguing adoptive species of my birth.
But then… I just sort of… woke up one morning, and I was a demoness again, and happier for it. In truth, the mystery I sought to understand was so hard to discover precisely because it was so simple: a demon is a demon because it is a demon. Therefore Carag remain Carag, even if we forget our names and nature, even if we dwell in human flesh. Any shapes I wear are a demon’s shapes.
No matter what you believe about my powers, origins, and inner being, it’s objectively true that I am a blend of constant, mind-melting affection and lust, and ceaseless yearning for the most forbidden knowledge of the cosmos unfathomed.
Ero, I am horrendously incompetent at handling Earthly concerns. A ditz in the streets and a genius in the sheets, if you will.
My favorite meal? Oh, I’ve come to love so many foods since my second puberty this past year! Pan-fried perch, jägerschnitzel, meat lover’s pizzas, stir fry, pastries and bagels and… well, demons are all-around hedonists, you know. I have a special delight for lust, love, and dreams, of course, else I’d be something besides a succubus, but I still appreciate all of the finer things in life! I have some fondness for most genres of music. Classical, metal and synthwave are my special favorites, of course.
If you want to find me on Twitter, seek me out @AshenveinGate, where I’ll blab about things that make me horny, the occult mysteries of the Lambent Way of the Quasar Dream, things that make me horny, my dreams of the Carag’s future culture, which includes lots of things that make me horny, and my pansexual trans femme experience, which is always better when it involves things which make me horny!~
I seldom stream, but if I do, Twitter is where I’ll announce that, too.
If you need to reach me for professional purposes, please review a word about getting in touch.